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Disappointed

Below is a letter i penned last night and decided to let it simmer for a bit prior to posting!
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I hate being disappointed when i expect a certain level of behavior and am sadly, often left with much less than that.
Anything from common courtesy, to general respect – now a days it seems to be missing from many of my friends, acquaintances, mere people passing in the super market…
Recently i’ve been dealing with people in my life that fall into all the categories above and it makes me sad that i have let that become acceptable behavior, it makes me mad that some of things that come across my plate are things i would never dream of doing to another person, and it makes me re-think my choice of the people i allow in my life.
I have some amazing, spectacular, caring and fabulous people in my life. People that would actually think i was  talking about them! Because they would, it makes me love them more than anything and want to spend as much quality and quantity time with them as i can! They are the right kind of people and the people i want and need most in my lift!
Sometimes it feels like second grade and getting picked last for kick ball, sometimes i feel used, sometimes i wonder why did I let these people even be a part of my life.
I had a sad experience today that just topped the cake and made me angry. I’ve been working on some thing with saying only positive things about people for 30 days in a row, so i spent the better part of an hour trying to be positive, and happy, and putting a thoughtful spin on what happened, and hubby played along for a while and then we just decided – dang it – we are darn angry and that was thoughtless and rude and really, we are done making the effort to have you be in our lives…
So as i tried to fall asleep tonight my mind whirled and whizzed and i decided i needed to get my angst down on “paper” – let it simmer in my electronic library and re-visit it tomorrow.
I’m not going to let poor behavior of another ruin my 7.5 hours of beauty rest, rest in my big bed, with my loving husband, and fabulous little monkies!
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After a couple reads I’ve gotten an idea on where I need to be and what I need to do!
I need to focus of me, my marriage, work on quality time with my fabulous hubby and let the rest of the universe fall where they may! Keep my real and true friends close and make sure they know how important they are to me!
Funny thing – this morning on the radio program i listen to when i get ready, they were discussing friends, when to let them go – as in, if i’m making all the effort, maybe i need to stop and see what happens!
Good soul searching if nothing else!
Cheers! And hugs to all the special people in my life, you know who you are!
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