Firstly Denver kinda sucks for having crazy rules for selling a car.
You can’t sell the car without having the title. Can’t get the title without paying off the car.
Are you seeing where this could be a catch 22 situation?

So we are attempting to sell the old audi since we now have the new audi…
So to get the above mentioned title, we have to break more into the HELOC to pay it off.

Issue 1
Heloc is in my name, Car is in hubby’s name

Issue 2
When calling about a loan there are now tremendous amounts of privacy laws in place that won’t allow the person on the other end to give you the exact amount

So hubby gives me the phone number, and account number to call to pay off the loan.

After a 12 step menu system I get to a person.
They want account number, and then they need the SSN

I say I wish to pay it off. She asks the amount, I say the amount to pay off the loan.
Sorry m’am due to privacy laws I cannot tell you that. I’m a little dumb founded – I am the wife, I wish to give them money. I say it’s some large number of thousand somethings.
They say – sorry you have to know the amount.  (Good lord, shoot me now)
I can’t get hubby on IM at this point, trillian decided to eat all of his relies.. 
sigh…
I say, fine, if I pay some large number of thousands plus one, will you send back the extra.
Yes m’am.
FINE!

Finally hubby give me the amount.

I tell her the amount, give her the check number from the HELOC – knowing how much the interest rate is going to kill me. She says – Thank you, your loan is now paid off. I ask about the title – oh you will get it mailed to you, this is all you needed to do.

Woohoo!

A couple of days later hubby asks what about getting the title.
I re-iterate verbiage from stupid woman at Bank of Suckage.

Hubby calls Back of Suckage to check on it. They tell him "When your loan is paid off, you will get your title".
Hubbys gets a little nervous after the 3rd time that phrase is used.
Hubby asks what he means by when…
Bank of Suckage says – you still owe $235
Hubby – WHAT?
Hubby re-iterates statement from stupid lady previously….
Bank of Sucakge says sorry, but we can take another payment. (of course they can)

After 2 weeks and a week on vacation we get 2 letters.
1 says – congrats you paid off your loan
2 says – just kidding your check was returned because the account could not be found.

At this point we have now paid another month payment as well as extra interest.
HRMPH!

Hubby calls and gives all necessary info and says he wants me to have permission to speak to them about this matter. They say ok, he hands over the phone…

I say that I have received these 2 letters and need to know what is going on.
I say I am not willing to pay any additional interest or fees.
Underling #1 – sorry ma’m there is nothing I can do about that
Me – Put me through to your supervisor
Underling #1 – sure thing, have a nice day
Stupid Manager #1 – how can I help you today
Me – re-state previous conversation, with previous employee, and indicate that it was their screw up that kept my loan from closing.
Stupid Manager #1 – no ma’m, there is now way to prove that.
Me – (head exploding) – we go back and forth a couple times about how I refuse to pay for something they screwed up, etc etc etc…  Finally, I say Fine, let’s pay it off and I will never ever in a million years use Bank of Suckage for anything.
Stupid Manager #1 – ok  m’am.

I give them the necessary bank info again.
I ask her to verify that the info I gave her was the same as what I gave her previously.

Stupid Manager #1 – yes m’am it is the same
Me – well see, then obviously it was your mistake not mine…
It is finally discovered through more not so nice conversations that they do not accept anything but personal checks
Me – WHAT? It’s a check, it’s money? What is the problem?
Stupid Manager #1 – Sorry, we only accept personal checks. Do you have another account you would like to try?
Me – NO!  (you think I have that kind of money just sitting around in personal checking accounts?)
Stupid Manager #1 – Would you like me to cancel this transaction
Me – HELL YES!  (what an idiot)
I then am forced to hang up and attempt to find some other way to pay off this stupid car loan….

We drive around looking for a Bank of Suckage Branch. Guess what? They don’t have any in Colorado.
ARG!!!!!

On the way home we pass Wells Fargo – whom the HELOC is with.
We ask if they have heard of anything like this and if they could assist us with closing the Bank of Suckage account.

HelperBee #1 – couple of different options. 1 let’s refi this HELOC and get you a better rate, 2 let’s open a checking account with hubby on it and do an instant transfer, then you have a personal check to get rid of Bank of Suckage.
Me – (white lights, angels sing) – great!

So all that occurs, our rate on the HELOC  is less than it was when we first got it, and we now have a check to dismiss Bank of Suckage with.

Hubby again calls up Bank of Suckage and allows me access to the account.
Underling #2 – How can we help you today
Me – I explain my predicament again, and also indicate that I was never told that they did not accept anything but a personal check
Underling #2 – oh dear, we are very sorry, lets see about getting your account paid off and I’ll out in a request to get your extra interest and payment revered.
Me – (white lights, angels sing) – great- finally someone that is helpful!

So long story longer – car is paid off, title is in hand, we still hate Bank of Suckage and now love Wells Fargo. (I still would never leave Wamu – I love them more!)